I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
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