nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He passed out mid-signature
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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