What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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