god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
