he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
