3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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