i don't plan on having that self control this summer
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
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Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
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Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this