I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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