His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party