Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE