I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
