So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
