just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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