tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
As shirtless as possible
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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