After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
