He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
