RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
