Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
