If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Randomize
