Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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