Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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