Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.