you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?