I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
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I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
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doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.