i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
