But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
