Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize