I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
