A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
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you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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