I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
