i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
