whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Sober January is a disaster.
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So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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