New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
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