you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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