Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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