Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
