i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
