Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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