What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
