I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize