well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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