i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize