why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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