Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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