:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
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