I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
