Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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