love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
