tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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