just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
