He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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