The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
