let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
