Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
