Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I need a burrito and a hug.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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