Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
