It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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