In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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