dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize