I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize